So, I felt it super important to write this blog as we live in such a time of liberation. A time of sexual liberation, gender liberation and it is much less common to have a goal to become married and have children these days than it used to be.
Since the beginning of time the concept of dating has pretty much evolved and changed with the times and quite honestly became, the way I see it, more complexed than ever as when deciding to date there are so many more things to take into consideration than there used to be.
With the whole sexual revolution that has taken place, one has to consider far more things when deciding to date than ever before.
You have to ask yourself questions such as what am I dating for?
Am I ready for a committed relationship? Am I just wanting to date to have companionship and someone around for sex? If I am dating casually and not really looking for a committed relationship if I am dating someone how soon would be too soon to have sex? How would I know if they are disease free? How would I know how many partners they have had including me? Would they be honest with me about how many partners they have had? What if I don't want a committed relationship and I have sex with someone and then I can't get them to leave me alone?
Cling ons are the worst and sadly, you could end up with a stalker!
After all, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention 20 million people will catch an STD in one year, 50 % of those people will be between the ages of 15-24.
There are also over 30 types of STDs that you may catch, some of which could be deadly.
You also have to consider that if you do not make him cover that junk up ladies whoever he sleeps with you will sleep with and the same can be said for you men.
You also have to consider the fact if you are casual dating and should happen to get pregnant than you could become part of the latest trending statistics such as for example, the University of Virginia and the Relate Institute, who would've known there was such a thing as the Relate Institute, did a study and found that by age 25 44% of women have had a baby and that only 38% of those women are married.
OOh, ooh, or here's another interesting fact 60% of new Moms giving birth today are in their 20s.
According to relationshipsinamerica.com men and women will average 4-6 sex partners in a lifetime.
These days you practically need to have a resume, references, and an agreement for a release of medical information pertaining to Aids, sexually transmitted diseases, mental health issues and covid testing before making a decision to date someone for any purpose.
What if you're wanting to date someone for the purpose of a more serious relationship?
If this is the case, please leave your heart out of the equation as much as possible. I know this may sound odd but for some of us our heart tends to get us in trouble as we long for that special someone and then our logic goes out the window as well as our ability to protect ourselves from a possible disastrous relationship.
Another reason I wrote this blog is I want to stress of Godzilla magnitude when dating please do not be fake. Do not meet someone or see on his or her online profile interests for example dancing, hiking etc and you do these things because you are trying to sell yourself as the person he or she really wants to be with and in the beginning you are all about doing things they like to do but then as time goes on things escalate love grows and the relationship moves forward like a freight train either into a long term relationship or a marriage, there is when the disappointment comes into play because then that person that you were fake with is going to find out when they want to go camping all the time and you say, "I don't really like camping", then there lies a letdown that can't be taken back because they are going to realize that person they married will keep them from sharing something they enjoy with you, which is what they wanted, someone to share things that they enjoy with and now they can't because you were fake.
I want to emphasize as I pointed out earlier some people do well in dating and relationships. It would take kryptonite to bring them down. Those people are my heroes. There are other people, such as me, that shouldn't date as it takes very little for us to fall for someone, sadly in a lot of cases it just takes someone to impress us for a while and we may as well jump off a cliff as we don't know what this person is truly like yet and we're hooked like a big mouth bass.
Sadly, there is a syndrome in America today and it's the "I'm sorry', or the "It will never happen again" syndrome.
Be very observant and in tune with the person you're with when in a new relationship and I am not saying paranoid because that's just ugly, but if you catch, he or she in lies often, walk away.
Absolutely, if that person starts trying to keep you to themselves,
if they verbally, emotionally or mentally start cutting you down or if they ever put their hands on you and I don't care if they push you, that's where "I'm sorry syndrome" comes into play.
Please, if you are already in a relationship and you are physically
abused, emotionally or verbally, which is almost worse than physical abuse as mental abuse never goes away, get out of it, be brave, take your dignity and life back. I understand how hard it is but I've dealt with it and my Daughter has and please trust me when I say it is not hopeless there is so much help out there and once you free yourself you will become so strong and you will see things in a whole new light. if you can incorporate help from a friend or family member. The International Domestic Abuse Hotline is :
1-800-799-7233
My final point is if he or she cheats on you and I'm sorry that doesn't mean you necessarily catching them in bed with someone or seeing them with someone else, those are no brainers but there is a difference between what some men and women consider cheating I find that convenient for them. I see it this way, if you are in a relationship with someone, committed or married you shouldn't be on dating web sites, sexting with other males or females, if you are doing anything with a person of same sex or opposite sex that you are sneaking around or hiding from the person you are with you are cheating and you shouldn't be in a relationship. These are all situations that are double whammys as they are both "I'm sorry', and "It will never happen again".
I speak from experience as my first husband cheated on me and my current husband was cheating on me from the beginning and I knew this and I should've ran like hell yet I married him anyway and trust nothing has changed but I have just finished chemo, recovered from having cancer, covid and covid pneumonia so not a lot of options and I have lived with him enduring affairs and much hurt and pain and this is why I do not wish others to go through the same. If any of the above are happening to you, please pop that red bull open, grab your belongings and put on your running shoes and run like hell and take your dignity with you.
I hope you enjoyed my blog. Please follow me and become a Chatterbug.
Have an awesome day and be safe.
I can be contacted at ingali4@aol.com
No haters please...